Maybe it's tonight's blood-super moon- eclipse conglomerate tonight in Aries but I am definitely feeling the change in the seasons (not temperature wise, naturally, but leaves are starting to change and the mornings feel an almost unperceivable touch crisper) as well as internally. I often wonder if this is what it is like for moths and butterflies just before they emerge from their chrysalis; trying to fit Too Much Self into a place that's well grown out by now, but being forced to wait for the right moment to explode into the world.
To mark this change, I've decided to change most things about this blog. The old posts and content will all still be here, but I have changed the name and site to Sun, Moon and Tea Nest and am changing what my little spot here looks like. I have a feeling there will be a period of frequent changes until it becomes just perfect.
For those who don't know, tonight is the full moon in Aries- the start, more or less, of the astrological cycle. With the high energies of this moon I've decided to treat this as a new year and have a ritual planned for tonight, as well as some resolutions for life in general.
1. Wrap things up! In the grand scheme of things this involved letting go of the past, negative people (almost at the point where I might drop Facebook all together), and my own mistakes. Tonight this will involve burning physical representations of some of these things, and some ties in a small fire. On the small scale I am a chronic Starter. I have a number of projects started that are taking up space both physically and mentally which is beginning to be a source of stress. I have half-knit yarn balls, most of one sock, a t-shirt quilt in need of a binding, several paintings and the list goes on and on. It needs to stop. I've decided that a sub-goal of this is no new projects until I finish all of the ones I have started.
2. Make more connections. Both here through the blog and other social media outlets but in real life as well. Definitely in real life. My internship here in California is coming to an end and it looks like I will be moving back north to Washington state this winter, hopefully after a visit to the South West to see the desert. Once I am in Washington I am hoping to start my own farming venture, and probably in a city where I know no one, so making meaningful personal connections will be crucial.
3. Be more honest about myself. I was a shy child growing up and because of the cruelty of high school have problems opening up to people sometimes, and even when I do there are parts of me that stay tucked away neatly where few ever even catch glimpses of them. For example- I've been reading tarot since, oh gosh, 9th or 10th grade (seven years now at least) and I think maybe four people know, and this is something I do pretty regularly. I don't think anyone is fully aware of my relationship to plants; the more actual magical aspect of a not-quite-religious form of nomadic bioregional animist witchery I have going on (Wow, I said it. Out of the cauldron.) that is heavily influenced by Buddhism. So here I am, I suppose. Being honest with myself and you on this pseudo-anonymous platform. It's a start.
4. Take better care of myself. Ugh. Yeah, this might be a very generalized form of the Classic New Years Resolution. I'm not overweight, but my knees and back struggle doing farm work so exercising is back on the schedule. As well as really improving my relationship with food; when my dear co-worker isn't here I stop caring about what I eat which needs to stop as I'll likely be living alone in a couple of months. Hopefully this will also improve my sleeping habits and make managing the dips in my anxiety-depression rollercoaster easier.
5. Go on more adventures. Bonus points if with friends. This season I've been pretty good about this- one big hike, plenty of river trips, the weekend camping trip at Point Reyes, a week on Bainbridge for my best friend's wedding, and I'm going to Yosemite in a week or two. But I could have done more. I live an hour from Sacramento and less than three from San Francisco but haven't really been to either. I haven't eaten at this really awesome pizza shop not 7 miles away or hiked the gorgeous trail in Colfax. It's not totally a negative thing, but I only have a month and a half left here and I'm trying to not let it feel like this, but it feels like crunch time. Needless to say: more adventures. Even little adventures if it means exploring the town by bike or spending a day at the park. I feel ready to really know a place, to have an intimate knowledge- where a visitor could ask for a recommendation and not realize I didn't grow up in the area. I want to never have a reason to be bored.
Whew! One of those lists where it feels absolutely massive but still a mere 5 items... I also would like to change up the blog content a bit. And by that I guess I mostly mean just doing more. I'm planning on sharing what herbal stuff I'm up to, maybe share some recipes, random outfits and art I make, keep it more like a journal that gives me an excuse to use my camera more often (it's been collecting dust in my cabin the last couple of months). There will be more photos of what I'm doing, heck, a few of me for once, tarot, little magics and delicious food.
Now it's time to work on a shawl I've had the yarn for since last January.
